Dating and Drinking

Noir has to be one of my favourite bars in Cambridge. That it's within walking distance of my apartment is one of its biggest perks.

But the drinks. Oh, the drinks. They make a good cocktail here, and they're wonderfully inventive without being brow-wrinkingly weird. This new recent trend of using vanilla-flavoured vodka in every mixed drink needs to be outlawed. Vanilla does not go with everything. You can try, but sometimes (most of the time) it tastes wretched. Vanilla vodka + creme de cacao = good. Vanilla vodka + butterscotch schnapps + Frangelico = GROSS AND WHY WOULD YOU INFLICT SUCH PAIN ON THE DRINKING WORLD? (I did not order it. But one of my friends did (luckily, we didn't end up paying for it) and I tasted it and it was as nasty as it sounds.)

Back to the topic at hand. Noir makes a good mean cocktail. This last visit, I had a strawberry-basil martini, which seems to be a very popular drink around Boston of late. It sounds weird, but if done right, the basil adds a nice touch to the drink. You don't actually taste it, it more adds a light lingering aroma to the fresh strawberry puree. Oh, and I also had the limoncello martini, where the lovely sweetness of the limoncello is basically cut by vodka, making it lighter but also more potent. Limoncello martini = death in sweet lemon liquid form.

Noir is a swanky place, all dark red and black with dim lighting. Most of the Hahvard undergrads stay away, or at least the ones who are obviously undergrads, which is very nice indeed. Usually, I come here with Fake Boyfriend, so I never really get to check out the singles scene (because only a very dumb, or very perceptive, male will approach you if you're with another guy, and really, how often do you encounter the latter?). But this time, it was a larger group of us, and it was just as enjoyable, if not moreso.

I love Noir. It's a great place to hang out with friends, and it'd also be a great place for a date. Such a versatile bar! And they have food too, although I've never eaten there. Obviously, it means a return visit needs to be made in the near future. But not until this throbbing headache goes away. Damn those good martinis.

Leigh, poor girl, has moved out to the suburbs of Boston. While I understand why she did it (all for the sake of one absolutely cute golden lab who loves me because every time I come over, I bring food), I feel sorry for her all the same, primarily due to the grand question - what do you do out there?

I suppose that my hometown is technically a suburb of Los Angeles, but in reality, it's really it's own city, with proper nightlife, even if said nightlife consists mainly of pubs, mercifully alleviated by a wine bar where I spent a little too much time last summer.

Where Leigh's moved - well, that's really the suburbs. Complete with requisite suburbian nightlife, which leaves so much to be desired. But you know what, we were going to be daring! We were going to go out in the 'burbs and see exactly what it had to offer.

Our one prerequisite is that the place had to have a website, so that we could get a general idea of what we were getting ourselves into. After I ixnayed this horribly cheesy-looking club nearish her apartment, amongst many other places (including one bar that proudly advertised Smirnoff Ice!!! and Mike's Hard Lemonade!!! as part of their fine liquor offerings) we finally settled on this bar, which didn't look so terrible if you're into Irish pubs. And we made sure that it wasn't 18+, but rather 21+, as the former would be just too much to handle.

Oh.My.God. The only time I've been a drinking establishment worse than this one was when I was in Puerto Rico, and for some reason we went to this totally shady place that "all" the Americans went to in a shady part of town, which was full of skanky Americans. It was horrible.

This place, however, was just a train wreck.

I can't really do the scene justice. It was just a mishmosh of people who you don't ever want to talk to in bars. My favourite was the guy who systematically hit on EVERY SINGLE GIRL in the bar. Or was it the short balding mid-30s guy in glasses who was "dancing" to the cheesy 80s music? Maybe it was the (gosh, I hope she was) pregnant girl wearing a shirt that completely exposed her stomach. Could've been the guy obviously picking his wedgie at the bar, or the one wearing a too-tight polo shirt and too much cologne. Then there were of course, the skankily-dressed girls who'd grind with any guy, you can't forget them.

We were there for just under an hour, which was perhaps about 55 minutes too long. But, at least we can say that we did it, that we checked out the local digs, and I will never ever have to go back. Give me the city any day.

Leigh: Check it out! Forbes.com ranked Boston the SECOND best place for singles!
Gloria: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Gloria: Perhaps if you are under 22 and ugly and not picky
Leigh: That's it. I'm going to set the record straight
Leigh: I'm going to create a blog that'll tell the truth
Gloria: Oooh. That's a good idea. And we can do it for all different cities, since soon I'll be moving to LA, which is apparently the 9th best city for singles
Gloria: Which is ONE BIG FAT LIE, since the only guys I met last summer were 33 and divorced
Leigh: We're going to tell the truth about these cities. I just have to stay single for this blog, which won't be that hard
Leigh: I live in Boston, after all

While perhaps that glossed over a lot of my misspellings due to the fact that I was typing with only one hand because I was busy eating a popsicle, and quite a few tangents - well, that's basically how this all started. Yes, Forbes just put out a list naming the best cities for singles. And it is the stupidest list in the world, perhaps even worse than US News's school rankings.

Now, if you look at Forbes's methodology, you'll immediately realise how faulty their measures are. (Hey, I didn't take a year's worth of stats for nothing.) In fact, the only really viable measure is perhaps the "cost of living alone" one. The rest? ALL CRAP.

But hey. We might as well write about our travails of being single - although, you shouldn't treat this entirely as such. Hopefully, we'll post cogent notes about bars and restaurants and other attractions so that you can use this as an informal city guide to wherever we currently are.

We'll keep open minds, don't worry. But it's not our fault if other company sucks. It makes for funny stories at least.